03/30 Morning Report

(…I haven’t been writing much lately. I’ve been pretty busy with school and tax season at the brokerage. But, I keep looking at things in the Middle East and wanting to scream...)

First, we have the continuing Iranian shenanigans. As the Iranians continue their proganda campaign using captured British crewmen, the UK ambassador to the UN does what?

At the UN headquarters in New York the UK asked the security council to support a statement expressing grave concern about the continuing detention of the crew.

Grave concern? The Iranians faked a situation to pressure the world into caving to their demands and goals. This request for a statement is in spite of satellite records showing the British were 1.7 nautical miles inside Iraqi waters. Now, it seems the UN turned down the British request.
(…what do you want to bet the Iranians get what they want out of this violation of international law without penalty…)

Next, probably taking a cue from the Iranians, the Arabs are demanding Israel accept a peace deal or else. Given that the Israelis turned down the same offer back in 2002, do the Arab leaders really think they will get a different response for this deal? I have to admit I thought this summary of the meeting by Israeli Prime Minister Olmert was really interesting:

"This process has brought the influential countries in the Arab world to begin to realize that Israel is not the biggest of all their troubles. This is a revolutionary change in their perception.

"(…forgive me…but I haven’t seen anything different in all this…)

Meanwhile, Congress is setting the withdrawal of US troops from Iraq. I originally heard the Democrats screaming for the end of 2008. The new deadline ? March 31, 2008.

In a mostly party-line 51-47 vote, the Democratic-controlled Senate told Bush to start withdrawing the troops this year with the goal of getting all combat soldiers out by March 31, 2008.

Personally, I liked Lycos news statement on this better. It was much more accurate:

A defiant, Democratic-controlled Senate approved legislation Thursday calling for the withdrawal of U.S. combat troops from Iraq within a year…

Two weeks ago, the Democrats failed to get the same legislation passed. Bush is right, it will encourage the insurgents and terrorists. All they have to do is wait until the US leaves and then have free reign. I think the Iraqis believe their military and security forces will not be ready by then. That might explain why two years ago and then in September the Iraqi President said American forces would be needed long term. Personally this abandonment, like the abandonment we did to the Vietnamese, makes me want to cry.
(…will the Democrats negotiate on this if Bush does…or if circumstances change?...only time will tell…but I doubt it…)

Of course, you can always go read Michael Yon for an accurate, on-the-ground description of what is going on. He fumes about the media for only covering the news from safe areas. He fumes even harder at the military for not giving the media more access. And, he believes in the forces on the ground. You should go check it out.

And, finally, Any Soldier reported the sad news that Sgt. Wayne R. Cornell, of Holstein, Nebraska, died March 20 in Baghdad, when an IED detonated near his vehicle during combat operations. He was assigned to the 1st Battalion, 28th Infantry Regiment, 4th Infantry Brigade Combat Team, 1st Infantry Division, Ft. Riley, Kansas.

Sgt. Cornell, at our house we remember your cry—the cry of all warriors:

"Tell them of us and say,
For their tomorrow, we gave our today."
--The Kohima Epitaph--

We remember what you have given. And we say thank you for the tomorrows you have given others. May God give back to your family more than they have sacrificed and lost.

And, now, we dance In Memoriam.

03/28 Wednesday Hero

This Weeks Post Was Suggested By Kathi

Billy Hodges, kneeling center.


Billy Hodges, who served in the U.S. Army and Texas National Guard between 1971-1979, is not only being profiled for his service, but also for what he's done since then. Mr. Hodges runs an organization based in El Campo, Tx called Hunts For Heroes. They also have chapter in South Carolina , Arkansas , Mississippi , and California and what they do is take soldiers who've been wounded in battle on hunting and fishing trips and other outdoor related activities. All free of charge.

These brave men and women sacrifice so much in their lives so that others may enjoy the freedoms we get to enjoy everyday. For that, I am proud to call them Hero.
We Should Not Only Mourn These Men And Women Who Died, We Should Also Thank God That Such People Lived

This post is part of the Wednesday Hero Blogroll. If you would like to participate in honoring the brave men and women who serve this great country, you can find out how by going here.

03/26 Hockey Notes

(…I’ve been busy as all get out at work this last month or so, and going back to school, so I haven’t had time to comment on the season for a bit. But, with the playoffs roaring up on us, I thought I would take a few minutes and spare some thoughts…)

Alan Muir over at Sports illustrated put an interesting light on Stars-Predators-Modano brouhaha. I’ll give him that Mikey should maybe have been penalized for slashing. But…becoming the highest scoring American ever without recognition is irrelevant? Give me a break. Especially after giving kudos to the Stars for honoring Recchi for #500.
(…this is little more than talking out of both sides of the mouth…)

Here are the current playoff matchups. There are some real interesting pairs at the moment. Does anyone remember how long it’s been since Dallas and Vancouver have played each other in the Second Season? And, with Nashville pretty well ensconced in first place in the West, wouldn’t it be interesting to see them play the Avs? And how far will Atlanta and Pittsburgh get?
(…how about Buffalo against either one of them for the Eastern championship…and Nashville against Anaheim for the West…)

For those who may have been too busy to keep up with all the trades at the deadline, The Hockey News provides this recap. They also provide their analysis of who were the winners and losers of all the trades.

Still over at The Hockey News, there was this interesting article on the role of fighting in North American professional hockey. I say it that way because there is no fighting allowed in College or European hockey. I’ve never had a problem with guys losing their tempers and swapping knuckles. They put some time in the box to cool off, and the game goes on. The thing I never liked—and I grew up with the bench clearing stuff of the sixties and seventies—was sending someone out to start a fight to get fans riled up. I’m glad to see that level of violence gone from the game. My personal opinion is as long as penalties fit the crime, I think it will be OK.
(…everyone is welcome to weigh in with their opinion on this one, of course…)

Butch, the Rooster

John the farmer was in the fertilized egg business. He had several hundred young hens called pullets and eight or ten roosters, whose job was to fertilize the eggs.

The farmer kept records and any rooster that didn't perform went into the soup pot and was replaced. That took an awful lot of his time so he bought a set of tiny bells and attached them to his roosters. Each bell had a different tone so John could tell from a distance, which rooster was performing.

Now he could sit on the porch and fill out an efficiency report simply by listening to the bells. The farmers favorite rooster was old Butch, a very fine specimen he was too. But on this particular morning John noticed old Butch's bell hadn't rung at all! John went to investigate.

The other roosters were chasing pullets, bells-a-ringing. The pullets, hearing the roosters coming, would run for cover. But, to Farmer John's amazement, Butch had his bell in his beak, so it couldn't ring. He'd sneak up on a pullet, do his job and walk on to the next one. John was so proud of Butch, he entered him in the county fair and Butch became an overnight sensation among the judges.

The result... The judges not only awarded Butch the "No Bell Piece Prize" but they also awarded him the "Pulletsurprise" as well.

Clearly Butch was a Politician in the making. Who else could figure out how to win two of the most highly coveted awards on our planet by being the best at sneaking up on the populace and screwing them when they weren't paying attention?

The New "Who's On First"

(...you have to be old enough to remember Abbott and Costello, and too old to REALLY understand computers, to fully appreciate this. However…If Bud Abbott and Lou Costello were alive today, their infamous sketch, "Who's on First?" might have turned out something like this...)

COSTELLO CALLS TO BUY A COMPUTER FROM ABBOTT

ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?
COSTELLO: Thanks. I'm setting up an office in my den and I'm
thinking about buying a computer.
ABBOTT: Mac?
COSTELLO: No, the name's Lou.
ABBOTT: Your computer?
COSTELLO: I don't own a computer. I want to buy one.
ABBOTT: Mac?
COSTELLO: I told you, my name's Lou.
ABBOTT: What about Windows?
COSTELLO: Why? Will it get stuffy in here?
ABBOTT: Do you want a computer with Windows?
COSTELLO: I don't know. What will I see when I look at the
windows?
ABBOTT: Wallpaper.
COSTELLO: Never mind the windows. I need a computer and
software.
ABBOTT: Software for Windows?
COSTELLO: No. On the computer! I need something I can use to
write proposals, track expenses and run my business. What do you
have?
ABBOTT: Office.
COSTELLO: Yeah, for my office. Can you recommend anything?
ABBOTT: I just did.
COSTELLO: You just did what?
ABBOTT: Recommend something.
COSTELLO: You recommended something?
ABBOTT: Yes.
COSTELLO: For my office?
ABBOTT: Yes.
COSTELLO: OK, what did you recommend for my office?
ABBOTT: Office.
COSTELLO: Yes, for my office!
ABBOTT: I recommend Office with Windows.
COSTELLO: I already have an office with windows! OK, let's just
say I'm sitting at my computer and I want to type a proposal. What
do I need?
ABBOTT: Word.
COSTELLO: What word?
ABBOTT: Word in Office.
COSTELLO: The only word in office is office.
ABBOTT: The Word in Office for Windows.
COSTELLO: Which word in office for windows?
ABBOTT: The Word you get when you click the blue "W".
COSTELLO: I'm going to click your blue "w" if you don't start
with some straight answers. What about financial bookkeeping? You
have anything I can track my money with?
ABBOTT: Money.
COSTELLO: That's right. What do you have?
ABBOTT: Money.
COSTELLO: I need money to track my money?
ABBOTT: It comes bundled with your computer.
COSTELLO: What's bundled with my computer?
ABBOTT: Money.
COSTELLO: Money comes with my computer?
ABBOTT: Yes. No extra charge.
COSTELLO: I get a bundle of money with my computer? How much?
ABBOTT: One copy.
COSTELLO: Isn't it illegal to copy money?
ABBOTT: Microsoft gave us a license to copy Money.
COSTELLO: They can give you a license to copy money?
ABBOTT: Why not? THEY OWN IT!

(A few days later)

ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?
COSTELLO: How do I turn my computer off?
ABBOTT: Click on "START".............


(...for those of you who have never seen the original version...here is a link to in at YouTube...it's a hoot...)

03/21 Wednesday Hero

This Weeks Soldier Was Suggested By Jenn

Capt. Alan B. Rowe
35 years old from Hagerman, Idaho
1st Battalion, 7th Marine Regiment, 1st Marine Division, I Marine Expeditionary Force, Marine Corps Air Ground Combat Center
September 3, 2004


The Perfect Marine. That's how many describe Capt. Alan B. Rowe. Respected and dedicated to the Corps and still able to be a husband and father.

Rowe, who was on his fourth deployment since joining the Corps in 1985, died with two other Marines, Lance Cpl. Nicholas Wilt, 23, of Tampa, Florida, and 1st Lt. Ronald Winchester, 25, of Rockville Center, N.Y., when a remote-controlled explosive device detonated as they returned to their vehicle after inspecting a bridge in Anbar province, near the Syrian border.

"He was a quiet, humble person and extremely polite," his widow, Dawn, recalled from their early days of dating. "He was a traditional type of gentleman. My mom was surprised to meet such a ... perfect-picture Marine." "He did a great job balancing a pretty intense Marine Corps career with also being a great husband and father. He worked extremely hard to balance it." "He was so dedicated to the Marine Corps. He was really driven and believed in what he did. He was a Marine’s Marine. Tall, blond and fit. Kind of the mental image you think of when you think of the Marine Corps."

A week after his death, Capt. Rowe was posthumously promoted to major. He leaves behind his wife and two children.

These brave men and women sacrifice so much in their lives so that others may enjoy the freedoms we get to enjoy everyday. For that, I am proud to call them Hero.
We Should Not Only Mourn These Men And Women Who Died, We Should Also Thank God That Such People Lived

This post is part of the Wednesday Hero Blogroll. If you would like to participate in honoring the brave men and women who serve this great country, you can find out how by going here.

Leg Wax

(...I read this email the other day, and darn near died for lack of air...if this isn't something to make your Monday enjoyable...I'm not sure I can pray hard enough for you...it's long...but read it anyway...I'm still crying from laughing so hard...Ladies, God bless you...guys...take your girl to dinner...)


All hair removal methods have tricked women with their promises of easy, painless removal - The epilady, scissors, razors, Nair and now...the wax.

My night began as any other normal weeknight. Come home, fix dinner, play with the kids. I then had the thought that would ring painfully in my mind for the next few hours: "Maybe I should pull the waxing kit out of the medicine cabinet." So I headed to the site of my demise: the bathroom.

It was one of those "cold wax" kits. No melting a clump of hot wax, you
just rub the strips together in your hand, they get warm and you peel them apart and press them to your leg (or wherever else) and you pull the hair right off. No muss, no fuss. How hard can it be? I mean, I'm not a genius, but I am mechanically inclined enough to figure this out. (YA THINK!?!)

So I pull one of the thin strips out. Its two strips facing each other
stuck together. Instead of rubbing them together, my genius kicks in so I get out the hair dryer and heat it to 1000 degrees. ("Cold wax,"
yeah...right!) I lay the strip across my thigh. Hold the skin around it
tight and pull. It works! OK, so it wasn't the best feeling, but it wasn't too bad. I can do this! Hair removal no longer eludes me! I am She-rah, fighter of all wayward body hair and maker of smooth skin extraordinaire.

With my next wax strip I move north. After checking on the kids, I sneak back into the bathroom, for the ultimate hair fighting championship. I drop my panties and place one foot on the toilet. Using the same procedure, I apply the one strip across the right side of my bikini line, covering the right half of my *hoo-hoo* and stretching down to the inside of my butt cheek (Yes, it was a long strip) I inhale deeply and brace myself...RRRRIIIPPP!!!!

I'm blind!!! Blinded from pain!!!!....OH MY GOD!!!!!!!!!

Vision returning, I notice that I've only managed to pull off half the strip. CRAP!!! Another deep breath and…

RRIIP! P!!

Everything is swirly and spotted. I think I may pass out...must stay conscious...Do I hear crashing drums??? Breathe, breathe...OK, back to normal.

I want to see my trophy - a wax covered strip, the one that has caused me so much pain, with my hairy pelt sticking to it. I want to revel in the glory that is my triumph over body hair. I hold up the strip!

There's no hair on it. Where is the hair??? WHERE IS THE WAX???

Slowly I ease my head down, foot still perched on the toilet. I see the hair. The hair that should be on the strip. I touch…I am touching wax.

CRAP!

I run my fingers over the most sensitive part of my body, which is now
covered in cold wax and matted hair. Then I make the next BIG mistake...remember my foot is still propped up on the toilet? I know I need to do something. So I put my foot down.

DAMN!!!!!!!! I hear the slamming of a cell door.

*hoo-hoo*? Sealed shut!

Butt?? Sealed shut!

I penguin walk around the bathroom trying to figure out what to do and think to myself "Please don't let me get the urge to poop. My head may pop off!"

What can I do to melt the wax? Hot water!! Hot water melts wax!!! I'll run the hottest water I can stand into the bathtub, get in, immerse the wax-covered bits and the wax should melt and I can gently wipe it off,
right???

WRONG!!!!!!!

I get in the tub - the water is slightly hotter than that used to torture prisoners of war or sterilize surgical equipment - I sit.

Now, the only thing worse than having your nether regions glued together is having them glued together and then glued to the bottom of the tub...in scalding hot water. Which, by the way, doesn't melt cold wax.

So, now I'm stuck to the bottom of the tub as though I had cement-epoxied myself to the porcelain!!

God bless the man who had convinced me a few months ago to have a phone put in the bathroom!!!!!

I call my friend, thinking surely she has waxed before and has some secret of how to get me undone. It's a very good conversation starter - "So, my butt and who-ha are glued together to the bottom of the tub!"

There is a slight pause She doesn't know any secret tricks for removal but she does try to hide her laughter from me. She wants to know exactly where the wax is located, "Are we talking cheeks or who-ha?"

She's laughing out loud by now...I can hear her. I give her the rundown and she suggests I call the number on the side of the box. YEAH!!!!! Right!! I should be the joke of someone else's night.

While we go through various solutions. I resort to scraping the wax off with a razor. Nothing feels better then to have your girlie goodies covered in hot wax, glued shut, stuck to the tub in super hot water and then dry-shaving the sticky wax off!!

By now the brain is not working, dignity has taken a major hike and I'm
pretty sure I'm going to need Post-Traumatic Stress counseling for this
event. My friend is still talking with me when I finally see my saving grace...the lotion they give you to remove the excess wax. What do I really have to lose at this point? I rub some on and…

OH MY GOD!!!!!!!

The scream probably woke the kids and scared the dickens out of my friend. It's sooo painful, I but I really don't care. "IT WORKS!! It works!!" I get a hearty congratulation from my friend and she hangs up.

I successfully remove the remainder of the wax and then notice to my grief and despair.....THE HAIR IS STILL THERE.......ALL OF IT!!!!!!!!!!

So I recklessly shave it off. Heck, I'm numb by now Nothing hurts. I could have amputated my own leg at this point.

Next week I'm going to try hair color......Now that's funny ........